Shaykh Muhammad bin Sālih al-‘Uthaymeen رحمه الله mentioned,

“Whoever places his children in the circles of learning the Qur’ān will be rewarded, whoever volunteers and teaches in them will be rewarded, they all enter into the hadeeth;

“The best of you are those who learn the Qur’ān and teach it.””*

*Saheeh al-Bukhārī, Chapter: Virtues of the Qur’ān, hadeeth no.5027

[Sharh Riyādus-Sāliheen, vol.4, pg.638]

Question:

My father passed away a long time ago and he is (buried) far away from me. I am not able to visit his (grave) except every two or three years. Am I still able to be righteous and dutiful to him whilst being far away from his burial place?

Answered by Shaykh Muhammad bin Sālih al-Uthaymeen 

The intent behind visiting the deceased (graveyard) is to supplicate for them and supplicating for them will benefit them regardless of where the supplicant is, due to the saying of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم,

“When a person dies all his deeds cease except for three, continuous charity, knowledge which is benefitted from and a righteous child supplicating for him.” [Saheeh Muslim]

So you supplicate for your father wherever you are, close or far, and there is no need for you to visit his grave, but if you happen to be in the same land due to a need and you visit the grave of your father then there is no problem with this. But as for you undertaking a (specific) journey to visit his grave then this is forbidden to do so.

[Fatāwa Noor ‘ala ad-Darb, vol.12, pg.278, question no.6452]

Shaykh Muhammad bin Saalih al-Uthaymeen رحمه الله mentioned, 

If your father commands you to buy cigarettes for him, do not obey him, as there is no obedience to the creation in disobedience to the Creator. However, do not respond to him with harshness and coarseness, rather excuse yourself from it with softeness, and say to him:

‘This is harām (forbidden) and I advise you to keep away from smoking due to its harm and disobedience (to Allāh).’

Clarify to him the evidences which prove its forbiddance, and say to him for example:

‘I hope you excuse me for not purchasing/fetching it for you, as I deem it to be forbidden, and to help in something forbidden is forbidden.’

What is important is that you speak to him softly, not being harsh, nor being coarse, and that you frequently and continuously advise him, so that perhaps Allāh will guide him by way of you.

[Fatāwa Noor ‘ala ad-Darb, vol.12, pg.284]

Questioner says: Her husband is practising and adhering (to Islamic rulings), but when the wife commits a simple mistake he insults her and her family and makes du’ā against her and her children. How should the wife be treated in light of the Qur’ān and Sunnah O noble Shaykh? 

Answer by al-‘Allāmah Muhammad bin Sālih al-‘Uthaymeen رحمه الله 

We must know that practising means a person’s adherence to the Sharee’ah of Allāh (Islamic rulings) in relation to interactions towards the Creator as well as interactions with the creation. But many people understand that practising is a person’s adherence to obeying Allāh in his interactions towards his Lord the Mighty and Majestic alone, this is a deficient understanding, for if we were to find a man who is practising and adherent in his interactions towards Allāh, guarding the Prayers, giving much charity, Fasting, performing Hajj, but he treats his family badly, then this (individual) lacks practice and adherence without a doubt. The Prophet عليه الصلاة والسلام said, “The best amongst you is the one who is best to his family and I am the best amongst you to my family.” 

So the husband this woman mentioned is not practicing fully, because the fact he insults her, insults her family, her father, her mother, for the slightest reason, does not indicate adherence (to Islamic rulings) in this particular interaction. Allāh, the Exalted and Most High said in His Book, 

“And live with them (the wives) honourably.” 

And the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم gave a command regarding the women (to be treated well), and he said in the sermon of the farewell pilgrimage on the Day of ‘Arafah in the greatest gathering with him صلى الله عليه وسلم,

“Fear Allāh with regard to the women, for indeed you took (married) them by the security of Allāh and were permitted their private parts by the Word of Allāh.” 

So my advice to this brother is that he should fear Allāh regarding his family, his wife and his children, for indeed he will be questioned about them.

Source: https://youtu.be/CtY7VRQLqT0

Shaykh Muhammad bin Sālih al-Uthaymeen (رحمه الله) posed a question,

If we want to teach children the description of the Prayer, do we teach them the Sunnan or do we limit it to just the obligations (of the Prayer)?”

The answer:

We teach them the Prayer in the complete manner (both the obligations and the Sunnan). This is the wisdom (that has been legislated), that a man prays the naafilah (non-obligatory Prayers) in his house so the children may see him and learn from him and likewise the women can follow and take him as an example. Therefore, the house does not become like a graveyard where he does not pray in it. 

[Fath zee al-Jalālee wal-Ikrām bi sharh Buloogh al-Maram, vol.3, pg.46]

Imām Mālik Ibn Anas رحمه الله said regarding a mas’ala (religious issue),

“Whoever is invited for food then (some of) it should be sent (back) with him, so that he may eat it with his family.”

And he mentioned, the reason for this is that it is deplorable for a man to eat good food and leave out his family.[‘Umdatul-Qārī, vol.11, pg.198, taken via: https://twitter.com/dr_albukhary]

‘Alī رضي الله عنه made a marriage proposal to the Messenger of Allāh ﷺ for Fātimah رضي الله عنها so he ﷺ said,

“She is yours, upon the condition that you live with her in a beautiful manner.”

[At-Tabarānī, Silsilah Al-Ahadeeth As-Saheehah, no.166]

Allāh’s Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم said,

“I entered Paradise and I heard the recitation of the Qur’ān.”

I said, “Who is this?”

They said, “It is Hāritha ibn N’umān.” That is because of his kindness and righteousness (to his mother), that is because of his kindness and righteousness (to his mother).”

‘Aa’ishah رضي الله عنها said,

“He (Hāritha) was the most righteous and kindest of people to his mother.”

“And Hāritha was the most righteous and kindest of this Ummah to his mother.”

[Al-Hākim, Al-Humaydī, Abū Y’alā, Silsilah Al-ahadeeth As-Saheehah no.913]

Mu’āweeyah bin Qurrah narrated from his father, that he said,

“When the Prophet ﷺ used to sit, a group from among his Companions would sit with him. And there was amongst them a man who had a young child who would come from behind him and the man would place him (his child) in front of him. The young child died and the man stopped attending the gatherings as he was thinking about his son and was sad over him. The Prophet ﷺ missed him and said,

“Why do I not see so and so?” 

The Companions said,

“O Messenger of Allāh, his son who you used to see passed away.” 

The Prophet ﷺ met him and asked regarding his son and the man informed him that he had passed away. The Prophet ﷺ offered him condolences (supplicated for him to be given patience for his calamity) and said,

“O so and so, which is more beloved to you, that you enjoy his company your whole life, or that you come to a gate from the gates of Paradise on the Day of Resurrection and you find him having preceded you there to open it for you?” 

He said:

“O Prophet of Allāh, him preceding me to the gate of Paradise and opening it for me is more beloved to me.” 

The Prophet ﷺ said,

“Then that is for you.”[Sunan An-Nasāee no.2088, declared saheeh by Imām Albānee]

Allāh’s Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم said,

“Do not hate your daughters, for verily they are your caring and precious companions.” 

[Musnad Ahmad, At-Tabarānee in al-Mu’ajam al-Kabeer, Silsilah al-Ahadeeth as-Saheehah no.3206]

Shaykh Muhammad bin Sālih al-‘Uthaymeen, may Allāh have mercy upon him, mentioned, 

“It is known that when a married couple are blessed with children, their character and manners are reflected in their children. So if they have good and virtuous manners the children will acquire from them good and virtuous manners and the opposite is also true.”

[Fatāwa Noor ‘alā ad-Darb, vol.10, pg.280, question no.5238]

Shaykh Muhammad bin Sālih al-‘Uthaymeen رحمه الله mentioned,

It is upon the man, especially with regard to his spouse, to strive as much as possible in using the means that bring about love and affection between them, such as mentioning her good qualities and overlooking her faults, as the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) guided us to this in his statement: 

“A believing man must not hate a believing woman (his spouse), if there is a trait that he dislikes in her he will be pleased with another.” This is how one should treat his wife and this is also how she should treat him, so that love for each other is settled in their hearts and there is harmony and affection between them.

The issue of how the wife is treated is unlike other issues, for indeed the separation of a married couple has its own dangers, especially if they have children together.

[Fatāwa Noor ‘alā ad-Darb, vol.10, pg.286, question no.5243]

Shaykh Muhammad bin Sālih al-‘Uthaymeen (رحمه الله) mentioned,

…”Let it be known that being righteous and dutiful to parents, as the people used to say, is like being repaid a debt. If you are righteous and dutiful towards your parents, then your children shall be righteous and dutiful towards you, but if the affair is the opposite, then expect that your children will be disobedient and undutiful towards you.”

[Fatāwa Noor ‘alā ad-Darb, vol.12, pg.297]

Shaykh Muhammad bin Ghālib al-Umarī حفظه الله mentioned, 

“From the worst of the men that I have seen, is a man who is kept busy with his wife and children away from caring for his parents, looking after their needs, and checking on them. 

And even worse than him, is the one who wrongs them and mistreats them when they are most in need of him.

So how does such a person hope to achieve happiness and peace of mind?!”[Source: https://twitter.com/m_g_alomari/status/1331165059171692544?s=08 ]

Question:

I have a mother, may Allāh protect her, whenever she requests something from me I immediately comply in fulfilling her request. I do not complain or whine in front of her, nor do I display any displeasure. However when I go to some of my sisters, I complain to them regarding my mother, of her many demands. Is this considered disobedience and undutifulness towards the parents? Please benefit me, may Allāh bless you. 

Answer by Imām Muhammad bin Sālih al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allāh have mercy upon him),

I consider this to be disobedience and undutifulness towards the parents, as this is backbiting the mother. If this woman was (truly) seeking the Face of Allāh by pleasing her mother by fulfilling her demands and requests, then it is not permissible to make mention of it and hurt and offend her mother by saying bad words about her in the presence of her friends.

Allāh, the Most High says,

“O you who believe, do not nullify your acts of charity with (hurtful) reminders and hurtful words.”

[Qur’ān 2:264]

So upon this woman is to sincerely repent to Allāh, the Mighty and Majestic for what she has done and to cease doing this again in the future and that she seeks the Face of Allāh when pleasing her mother by fulfilling her requests and demands and that she asks (Allāh) for her guidance.

[Fatāwa Noor ‘ala ad-Darb, vol.12, pgs.302-303, question no.6478]

Shaykh Muhammad bin Sālih al-‘Uthaymeen (رحمه الله) mentioned,

…”Having enmity and animosity does not make it permissible to supplicate against the one you have animosity towards. Rather, it is obligatory upon the person to strive their utmost to remove the animosity as much as possible and especially if they are from their close relatives. And it is upon him to ask Allāh, the Most High, that He brings together his heart and the heart of his adversary.

And it is not permissible for a person to go along with the devil in remaining at loggerheads with his Muslim brother, especially if he is from his close family members, for if this animosity remains between close family members it will lead to the cutting of the ties of kinship which is from the major sins. And the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said regarding it,

“The one who severes (family ties) will not enter Paradise.” [Saheeh Al-Bukhārī no.5638]

[Fatāwa Noor ‘alā ad-Darb, vol.12, pgs:178-179, slightly abridged]

Allāh سبحانه وتعالى says,

وَمِمَّا رَزَقْنَاهُمْ يُنْفِقُونَ

“And they (the believers) spend out of what We have provided for them (of wealth and sustenance).” [Qur’ān 2:3]

‘Abdullāh ibn Mas’oud (رضي الله عنه) narrates that some of the Companions of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم ) said regarding the above verse:

“It is the spending of a man upon his family and this was before the revelation of Zakāt.”

[Tafseer at-Tabarī, vol.1, pg.137, Dār ibn Hazm print, 1st edition]

Imām ‘Abdur Rahmān as-S’adī (رحمه الله) mentioned, 

“You will not find between any two people in the majority of cases what you find between the husband and wife of love, affection and mercy.” 

[Tayseer al-Kareem ar-Rahmaan fee Tafseer Kalām al-Mannān, Sūrah ar-Rūm, ayah 21, pg.853, Dār ibn al-Jawzee print, 2nd edition]

Shaykh Muhammad bin Sālih al-‘Uthaymeen (رحمه الله) mentioned, 

“The child who is not righteous becomes a worry, and brings unhappiness to their father and mother. However, it is a must upon a person that if Allāh has given him a child who is not righteous that he is ardent and has great concern in rectifying him. And he calls upon Allāh تعالى with supplication for rectification for him and he should never lose hope in Allāh’s mercy. For how many children have become righteous after being corrupt. Do not say: 

I am unable (and give up) and Allāh will not rectify him. 

This is impermissible, for you do not know how many people have been rectified after they had been sinful.”

[Fath zee al-Jalālī wal-Ikrām bi-sharh Buloogh al-Marām, vol.10, pg.289]